Thursday, August 28, 2003

- take me out to the ball game -

I just found out that G3'03 will feature Satriani, Vai and... Yngwie Malmsteen? Yngwie Malmsteen? What the fuck? Bring back Eric Johnson! Incidentally, none of these aforementioned guitar maestros made Rolling Stone's 100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time (not that I pay attention to those silly lists) -- neither did other G3 alums like John Petrucci and Kenny Wayne Shepherd.

On a completely unrelated note, Michael scored some wickedly stellar tix for last night's M's game. 4 rows up from the visitors' dugout, where even the beer guy has his own website. Gotta love those Microsoft millionaire season-ticket holders who are too busy to go to the games themselves.

Monday, August 25, 2003

- say uncle -

At last, David is a proud owner of a 12-week-old Westy, whom he named "Justin" after Mr. Timberlake. Forget CC Bloom's -- this is the gayest thing I've ever heard.

Friday, August 15, 2003

- fuck friendster -

Hello Introvertster.

(Update: Other parodies include Fiendster, Enemyster, and my favorite, STD-ster.)

Thursday, August 14, 2003

- as the world turns -

What do you do when your friend is dating someone so wrong (like, some creepy old guy who is obviously lying about his age)? Is it your friendly duty to tell them what you *really* think, or do you just keep your mouth shut until they realize for themselves? I compromised by saying "like, um, I think he is too old to be wearing Abercrombie & Fitch."

Monday, August 11, 2003

- felony melanie -

In a matter of days, I'll be able say I've dated a convicted felon. Say it with me people: just what kind of fucked-up, Mötley Crüe, Behind the Music bullshit is this?!

Friday, August 8, 2003

- conspiracy theory -

I'm convinced Dat Phan (the winner of Last Comic Standing) and Harlemm Lee (the winner of Fame) are actually the same person. Just look at the pictures! And you can't give me the "you think all Asian people look alike" crap because, well, *I* am Asian. Ha!

Wednesday, August 6, 2003

- don't cry for me argentina -

Upon discovering that I had never seen an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical (shocking, I know), Michael forced me to watch something from his DVD collection. Kind of like my very own personal episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, except, well, you know.

Faced with the possibility of watching Evita (a.k.a. 3+ hours of Madonna pretending she can sing) or Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (a.k.a. 2+ hours of looking at Donny Osmond's creepy, plasticky smile), I opted for Andrew Lloyd Webber: The Royal Albert Hall Celebration which, I must admit, wasn't half bad. The image of Sarah Brightman's scary, protruding eyes while she hits those insanely high notes will haunt me for the rest of my life, however.

Tuesday, August 5, 2003

- superstar -

Leonard just landed the biggest acting job of his career: he'll be playing a zombie in the upcoming Resident Evil: Apocalypse. Congrats Lenny! Hopefully his "character" will get blown away by Milla Jovovich's bazooka at some point. *smirk*

Monday, August 4, 2003

- choose life -

What kind of fucked-up, Mötley Crüe, Behind the Music bullshit is this?!

- Margaret Cho, I'm the One That I Want