Thursday, September 29, 2005

- remover installer -

Holy fuck
I'm Billy Chenowith

Shit

Current music: Jem - 24

Monday, September 26, 2005

- dance on air -

Kids: the word "amazing" is meant for something like this, not Katie Holmes' fucking "life-force." Gosh!

Current music: Rufus Wainwright - The Art Teacher

Sunday, September 25, 2005

- overheard in vancouver -

Guy #1: I have three joints on me.
Guy #2: Whoa -- you have *three* joints? Why?
Guy #1: Because we just smoked one. Otherwise I'd have four.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

- t.m.i. -

The "20 random facts about myself" meme:

1. I'm the only person in my family who doesn't have a BFA. My dad has a degree in sculpture, my mom in Asian paintings, and my sister in intermedia/installation arts. I have a BASc in computer engineering.

2. I appeared in a series of hugely popular Ivory soap TV commercials in the early 80s.

3. My experiment with sobriety lasted 3 years, 2 months and 11 days (Aug 4, 2001 - Oct 15, 2004).

4. In 6th grade, I won an essay contest held by a national newspaper. My mom suggested we buy flowers with the prize money and visit my father's grave. I insisted on putting it all in my savings account (which I did).

5. I used to be smart and I have proof.

6. I live without a car, cellphone, broadband or cable TV. My sister calls it "Amish"; I call it "voluntary poverty."

7. Even though I consider Vancouver my hometown, I have never really lived there.

8. I used to have the same hairdresser as Sarah McLachlan.

9. My alcoholic ex-stepfather once hit me because I didn't do dishes. I was 14. I hope he gets testicular cancer and dies a slow, painful death.

10. In 6th grade, as I was going through a brief fat period, we all had to participate in a 100-meter dash. I came in dead last. Boys and girls combined. The 2nd slowest time belonged to a girl who was mentally disabled.

11. I've seen Pretty Woman 15 times. I used to have the entire movie memorized. That's how I learned English.

12. I also learned English by reading Mad magazines.

13. I own 34 Radiohead CDs.

14. I frequently sleep-talk, but never in English. I used to sleep-walk too, but I don't think I do that anymore.

15. My father died 2 weeks before my 9th birthday.

16. In 9th grade, some kid called me a fag. I punched him and almost got suspended.

17. In kindergarten, I was asked to play the prince in the Christmas production of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. I refused. My mom bribed me with a new watercolor kit to change my mind, but they had already cast a replacement by then. I ended up playing the magic mirror.

18. Most movies I've seen in a month: 34 in August of 2001. And I wrote about every single one of them.

19. The most expensive thing I own is my piano.

20. Contrary to popular belief, Roger Clemens does not have a restraining order against me (though he probably should).

Current music: Nirvana - The Man Who Sold the World

Friday, September 23, 2005

- welcome back, kotter -

I filled out the "resident" section (and not the usual "visitor" section) of the customs form as I crossed the US/Canadian border today. It's good to be home.

Current music: M.I.A. - Bucky Done Gun

Thursday, September 22, 2005

- first day of my life -

I wanted more than life could ever grant me
Bored by the chore of saving face
Today is the greatest day I have ever known
Can't wait for tomorrow, I might not have that long
I'll tear my heart out before I get out

- from Today by the Smashing Pumpkins

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

- chongqing: the new llanddewi brefi -

From "I really needed a good laugh today" folder: a friend of mine, a committed homosexualist the last time I checked, is now dating a girl. Well, sort of.

His exact quote: "there are no cute guys here -- it's driving me straight!"

Current Music: Goldfrapp - Crystalline Green

Sunday, September 18, 2005

- i didn't do it -

Bart: I'm in television now. It's my job to be repetitive. My job. My job. Repetitiveness is my job. I am going to go out there tonight and give the *best* performance of my life.
Marge: The *best* performance of your life?
Bart: The *best* performance of my life!

- from The Simpsons

Thursday, September 15, 2005

- still waiting for my rocket to come -

Jason Mraz is returning to Seattle in November -- this time, as the headliner. He'll be joined by Tristan Prettyman and James Blunt, both Amazon Fishbowl alums.

And speaking of rockets: did last night's emotional win put Clemens ahead of Carpenter for good? Dan Shanoff thinks so.

Current music: Hot Hot Heat - Goodnight Goodnight

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

- another george w. bush joke that's not really a joke -

Q: What's George W. Bush's position on Roe v. Wade?
A: He really doesn't care how people get out of New Orleans.

Current music: Bright Eyes - First Day of My Life

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

- birth -

Please join me in congratulating Monica on the birth of her daughter, Mia Allemano-Rho, as well as the upcoming premier of her directorial debut at this year's VIFF. Congrats, Monica nuna!

Current music: Smashing Pumpkins - Landslide

Monday, September 12, 2005

- have you heard of this new invention called korea? -

I finally got around to watching Crash, one of the more "critically-acclaimed" movies of this year. Somehow I just *knew* it was gonna suck, and suck it did. I mean, it was just so cliché and pretentious and eye-roll-inducing -- you know, a kind of a movie that is so self-conscious and so pleased with itself. I generally like movies in which characters' lives intersect with one another (so long as it's done well, à la Grand Canyon, Magnolia or Short Cuts), but nigga please, since when does Los Angeles have a population of 10 people? The annoyingly overpowering score didn't help either.

I was also pretty unhappy about how Asians were portrayed in the movie. The Asians were the only ethnic group that 1) didn't realize some sort of redemption, and 2) was willing to hurt their own people. Nice. Another thing that really bothered me was the hospital scene where the injured husband (supposedly Korean) cries his wife's name ("Kim Lee! Kim Lee!"). First of all, that ain't no Korean name I ever heard of, and even if it was, he would never address her in such a manner.

It was also one of my few peeves about the 5th season of The Sopranos. That "Korean" dry cleaner dude / Tony B.'s boss sounds and looks *nothing* like any Korean people I know. And those "Korean" signs on the vans looked like they were done by an epileptic 5-year-old.

I'm probably being overly sensitive here (in Layer Cake, for example, the Serbian gangsters actually speak Romanian, but I sure didn't notice, nor did it bother me when I later found out), but c'mon -- is it so difficult to get those little details right? Maybe they need to ask Margaret Cho for that Asian consultant lady's number.

Current music: Radiohead - Hail to the Thief

Friday, September 9, 2005

- cy no. 8? -

I was gonna write about this year's NL Cy Young race, but Jason Stark already said pretty much everything I wanted to.

Roger Clemens *should* win, of course, but I won't complain if he doesn't. He was robbed back in 90 (when he, despite a stellar 21-6 record and a miniscule 1.93 ERA, lost out to Bob Welch), but his last 2 Cys were somewhat questionable. I guess this will even things out.

Current music: Billie Holiday - Speak Low (Bent Remix)

Tuesday, September 6, 2005

- politically incorrect joke of the day -

Q: What do you call it when there is a white hooker in between two black hookers?
A: A whoreo.

Rocking out to: Sloan - Coax Me

Sunday, September 4, 2005

- a tale of two matts -

My recent conversation with Jenny prompted me to google a couple of Matts from my West-E days, and with my mad cyber-stalking skillz, I was able to come up with the following updates. Last names withheld for obvious reasons.

• Matt #1, my first serious same-sex crush, is now (or was, as recently as November of 2004) an assistant coach for the Leamington Flyers, a junior hockey team in Ontario.
• Matt #2, who briefly was my "business partner" (like, for a day, until I came to my senses), was sentenced to 2 years in prison on drug-related charges in February of 2000.

Saturday, September 3, 2005

- show them the money -

If you think I'm back from my blogging hiatus to ramble on about Hurricane Katrina, you'd be wrong. Talk is cheap. Give money.

Update: This almost made me cry.

Current music: Kanye West - Get Em High